The Toothbrush Phenomena
by MrRobButtle
Summary: Amy is caught out with her toothbrush. Can she win back her sweet baboo? Shamy fic, rated M for reference to masturbation to be safe. One shot.


The door swung open, disturbing the peaceful evening Leonard and Penny were sharing on the couch at 4A.

"Hey Sheldon. Thought you were having date night?" Leonard asked.

"Not anymore. We broke up. Goodnight." Sheldon replied heading towards the hallway.

"What? Hang on, you can't just announce you broke up and then go to bed!" Leonard cried.

"I can't?" Sheldon asked.

"Of course not. We want to know the gossip!" Penny added.

"There is no gossip. Amy Farrah Fowler and I are no longer in a boyfriend slash girlfriend relationship as stated in the now defunct relationship agreement." Sheldon revealed.

"What did you do this time?" Penny asked suspiciously.

"Hey, that's not fair, you don't know it was his fault!" Leonard argued.

"It's Sheldon!" Penny replied.

"You're right. What did you do this time?" Leonard queried.

"I went over to Amy Farrah Fowlers apartment at the agreed time and she wouldn't answer the door. I feared a situation similar to the one when you slipped in the bathroom and dislocated your shower so I opened the door and let myself in." Sheldon replied.

"And you broke up because…she hadn't cleaned?" Penny guessed.

"Penny, I hardly think you're one to cast aspersions on cleaning standards!" Sheldon glared at her. Penny frowned.

"And she broke up with you…imagine that!" Penny glared back at him.

"Sheldon, what has her not answering the door got to do with you breaking up with her?" Leonard asked trying to avoid a potential argument between his girlfriend and his roommate.

"I hurried into the bedroom and I saw a sight I never expected or wanted to see!" Sheldon cried.

"Amy was naked?" Leonard smirked. Penny punched him lightly on the arm.

"Sheldon, what happened?" She asked.

"She was…instigating in a…what can only be described as…personal activity." Sheldon leant against the wall looking uncomfortable.

"Bathing?" Leonard guessed.

"In the bedroom?" Penny asked. Leonard realised his stupidity and gestured for Sheldon to elaborate.

"She was on the bed…using her toothbrush." Sheldon replied. He swallowed hard and let out a deep breath.

"You broke up with her because she was brushing her teeth? Sheldon, you _like_ personal hygiene!" Leonard argued. Penny shook her head.

"I think he means she wasn't using it on her teeth." Penny replied.

"Well where was…oh!" Leonard replied, a little surprised.

"It's complete abuse of a gadget that is not designed for such a purpose." Sheldon replied.

"Alright, let's not sugar coat it. Are you saying you broke up with Amy because you caught her masturbating with her toothbrush?" Penny asked.

"I believe that would be a satisfactory summary of tonights events." Sheldon replied.

"You're crazy." Penny decided.

"I am not crazy. My mother had me tested." Sheldon informed her.

"She should have followed up with the specialist in Houston." Penny replied.

"Penny, I realise it's probably perfectly acceptable to you, what with your famously ravenous nether regions, but I draw the line at such activities! It's like she has no self control on her biological urges!" Sheldon cried.

"Sheldon, what do you expect? You won't put out, she won't cheat on you, she's gotta satisfy herself _somehow_!" Penny argued.

"I don't undertake such activities, why should she need to? She simply doesn't possess the self control." Sheldon replied.

"Oh god, you are so clueless sometimes!" Penny groaned.

"I must withdraw to my room in order to get ready for bed. Please keep your noise down to a low level. Remember Leonard, you are on two strikes." Sheldon replied and headed off to his room.

"Two? I thought it was one?" Penny questioned.

"I forgot to put a coaster under my coffee mug this morning." Leonard replied sadly.

"Silly man!" Penny grinned. Leonard nodded sadly and looked down the hall.

"He's gone…you reckon we'll be able to finish the movie without him coming back out?" Leonard asked.

"Leonard, I must remind you, you need to get an early night, you're taking me to the comic book store tomorrow at dawn." Sheldon replied coming back down the hall.

"You just had to jinx the peace and quiet didn't you?" Penny asked looking at Leonard with an unimpressed look.

"Sheldon, perhaps Amy could take you? It would give you two a chance to talk." Leonard suggested.

"I have removed Amy Farrah Fowler from my social life, I have no intention of asking her for transportation." Sheldon replied.

"You removed her in the time it took you to get back here from her apartment? It's like a twenty minute walk!" Penny cried.

"Once we signed the necessary paperwork at her apartment I was able to remove her from my Facebook account using the Facebook mobile application on my mobile on the way back here." Sheldon declared proudly.

"I wonder if I could get him to do that with me?" Leonard joked. Penny smirked and cuddled up closer to him.

*knock knock knock*

Everyone looked at each other.

"Who do you suppose that is?" Sheldon asked.

"We have a way of telling Sheldon. It's called opening the door." Leonard replied.

"Sarcasm?" Sheldon asked looking to Penny for assistance. She smiled and nodded and Sheldon cast an unimpressed look at Leonard and marched back down the hall to his bedroom.

"So I guess I'm getting it then?!" Leonard called down the hallway sarcastically before getting to his feet. He pulled the door open.

"Oh hey Amy. Well done excluding yourself from Sheldons life. Got any tips I can use?" Leonard asked.

"Leonard, now is not the time for your childish attempts at humour." Amy pushed past him.

"And on that lovely welcome I think I'll make myself scarce and fetch that pizza. The delivery kid won't come here since Sheldon told him off for holding the box at a fifteen degree angle, thus causing a shift in the comprising layers on the pizza inside the box." Leonard revealed. Penny smiled and nodded and Amy sat on the couch next to her as Leonard stepped out and closed the door.

"So…George the toothbrush put the final nail in the coffin huh?" Penny asked.

"I am assuming Sheldon has filled you in on the details." Amy replied.

"Oh yeah. You know, next time, lock the door." Penny smirked.

"I lost track of time! It's not like I expected Sheldon to walk in on me!" Amy argued.

"Amy can I ask you something?" Penny asked.

"Yes I would love to cuddle with you on the couch." Amy replied moving closer.

"No!" Penny replied putting her hand out to stop her.

"What do you want to know?" Amy asked.

"Does a toothbrush really work? I mean…it's a pretty basic object. Don't you prefer proper sex toys?" Penny asked.

"Sheldon won't let me keep them. He thinks it's disgusting to satisfy biological urges." Amy replied.

"Yeah, I know, we had that speech before you got here." Penny sighed.

"Perhaps you would care me to demonstrate on you sometime?" Amy asked hopefully. Penny stared at her for a moment.

"You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I think Sheldon can do better!" Penny replied.

"Don't say that. I love my sweet baboo. I wish I hadn't agreed to sign that ridiculous contract termination. I want him back Penny." Amy replied.

"Want him back? He only left your apartment twenty minutes ago, it's not like you've been apart for six months!" Penny argued.

"Penny, do you think you could…what's she doing here?" Sheldon asked coming down the hallway and seeing her.

"Don't be rude Sheldon. I came to see you." Amy replied.

"I don't see why, we had adequate time at your apartment while we were signing the appropriate paperwork." Sheldon shrugged.

"I'm sorry you saw what you did. But I have needs Sheldon. And if you're not going to satisfy them then isn't it better I do something like that than meet someone else and cheat on you?" Amy argued.

"You are free to do what you wish. We are no longer boyfriend slash girlfriend." Sheldon replied.

"Sheldon, can't we go back to how things were? I miss you." Amy pleaded as she got to her feet and moved towards him.

"Can you promise that you won't undertake teeth cleaning with said item?" Sheldon asked.

"Of course not, I have more than one toothbrush Sheldon!" Amy replied.

"I must admit certain parts of our relationship did appeal to me. That is, the ones that skewed in my favour." Sheldon relented.

"I know it's getting a little late but perhaps you could come over tomorrow and I can cook you spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in the sauce?" Amy suggested.

"I'm still not comfortable with the toothbrush situation." Sheldon replied.

"I promise I won't do it when you're in the apartment." Amy replied.

"You must clean thoroughly once such an activity is undertaken." Sheldon argued.

"I'll use the special soap you bought me. Even though it does give me a rash." Amy replied.

"I suppose that would be acceptable." Sheldon relented.

"There you go!" Penny said standing from the couch. Amy turned towards her.

"Perhaps you could help me with my rash?" she asked hopefully. Penny stared at her.

"Don't make _me_ remove you from my social life!" Penny replied. Amy whimpered at the thought.

"Good god. You're both as crazy as each other. I'm going to my place…send Leonard over when he gets back." Penny groaned and exited the apartment.

"You know Sheldon…I could show you the toothbrush. If it would make you more comfortable." Amy replied.

"Are you asking me to watch whilst you undertake such an activity?" Sheldon queried.

"I am." Amy replied nervously. Sheldon pondered for a while.

"OK."


End file.
